I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
