So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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