So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
