Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
