She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
