she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
