Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
