We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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