she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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