I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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