so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
