I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
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