He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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