You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
