so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
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I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
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No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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