I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
