I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
