omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
