He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
