Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
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