I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
