What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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