dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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