i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize