So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...