sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Found your dick twin last night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
