He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
