i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
