dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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