everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
