About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
