So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
