so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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