She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
