Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I need water and some morals
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
