do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
