It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize