their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I will die if light touches me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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