You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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