don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
