i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
