So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
