so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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