VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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