doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
