I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
