I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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