Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
