I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize