I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
