i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.